Dear Manspam,
I started dating this guy a few months ago. I have known him for years and even knew him when he was married. He's divorced now of course, but he still talks about his ex wife all the time. He's always complaining about her, telling me she did this to make him mad, or said that to anger him. They have a child so I understand they have to have contact with each other, but their conflict-fueled relationship is getting in the way of us getting to know each other better. I'll come over and he'll be on the phone in the middle of a screaming match with her, or she'll text him with a hurtful name calling rant when we're out on a date. He's got such potential to be a great boyfriend, if only she wasn't the primary focus of our alone time. Please help.
Signed, He Has Enough Baggage for the Two of Us - Do I Really Have to Help Carry It?
Dear Baggage,
I don't think I'd classify this prospect as Manspam, but he does seem to be disproportionately caught up in the drama his ex creates. Even worse, he's asking you to (passively) participate by continually discussing their he-said-she-said goings on with you.
You have two choices -- become a drama queen in your own right, because that appears to be his communication comfort zone, or give the man some space to find his own perspective. I endorse the latter. Hopefully he'll tire of the drama and find more productive and healthy ways to communicate with her, if only for the sake of their child. If not, you dodged a bullet.
He can have all the potential in the world, but potential isn't worth anything unless it's realized.